Looking inside.

This last week of training has spurned lots of introspection. My training has been less than optimal and I feel there are a lot of things at work here. Some that I've come to terms with and others that are hard to understand. Some are related to a drop in fitness and some related to overall health, well-being and level of satisfaction. My motivation and overall energy levels are lower. I'm struggling through run workouts and my pool swim on Friday was far poorer than expected. Of course I've had some issues as far as illness and injury but I really expected I was going to be able to jump back into the game and reach a reasonable level of race ready fitness.

Yesterday I was scheduled for a running group that is pretty aggressive interval based workout. Based on how my running went this week I was not up for this effort. If I went to the workout I probably would have been dropped in the warm-up. I'm guessing this because I did a little 50 minute fartlek on my own and I felt like shit. I did a good warmup and started out planning 5 minutes on @ 10k pace and 2 minutes easy. My HR shot up to LT in the first interval and I could barely hold half marathon pace for the rest of the 30 minutes. Perceived effort was way high and my breathing was not easy. My HR was not responding very well to the recovery intervals and I felt worked. I finished the workout with a pretty decent hill just to get back to my house and it was at that point I knew I wasn't up for shuffling around my work and family business to get to Snow Valley and walk the run course. It's too easy to say this sucks and I'm over it after a bad workout but this is how they pretty much went all week.

Friday's swim was at the pool 10x100(10s) all out. The first interval was 98% effort and I swam barely 1:30. Way off considering the effort. By the sixth interval I could barely hold 1:45's. Normally I'll hit the first 5 sub 1:25 and drift up towards 1:35 in the last few but this was ridiculous. The only explanation is that I did a 1.75 mile (50 minute swim) on Thursday but it was easy and I felt great. Same with the swim on Tuesday.

I did a 40 minute run after the open water swim on Thursday and it was tough but hard to judge as it was hot and I was pre-fatigued from the swim and recovered only an hour before the run. I'd also ran pretty hard on Wednesday, which was a break from the plan but I made the call to make up the run from Tuesday since the bike was going pretty well.

Wednesdays run was a little disappointing but not horrible. I had been feeling some decent strength gains but the aerobic fitness was weak. I ran a warmup to Zone 3 (~163 bpm) and held it for 15 minutes and then jacked it up to Z4-5a (170-175 bpm) for 5. It was only 75-78 degrees but I was dogging. The first 15 minute tempo I barely kept it under 8's, 7:57 avg pace to get technical. The second five minute portion, was 7:32 with HR @ 176 avg. 181 max. That is shit slow. I could barely get it to Half Marathon pace at that HR zone. I monitored my pace during the workout and tried everthing to relax, breathe, lean and check cadence. I just didn't have it.

At this point I'm taking some personal inventory and considering calling it a season. The ups and downs are getting to me and the personal sacrifices aren't paying the dividends. I think the most fun I've had lately is the two week cycling block and getting in some solid open water swims in the ocean. I haven't spoken to my coach all week so this is going to be news to him. It's even news to me. Being such a fitness fiend and finding it really difficult to take any time "off" this is really hard to stomach. I just need to get my body and mind in order and spend time with my family, going to the beach, taking a vacation all that stuff I've been sacrificing trying to resurrect some real fitness in order to bang out a late season race. My training schedule will not change a lot but will allow a lot more flexibility. If the ocean is flat and warm, I'll swim. If I head to the mountains with the family, I'll take my bikes. If I need to clear my head, I'll run. That's what my heart is telling me to do. If I listen to my brain, I think I'll continue to be all over the map, spinning my wheels, trying to make sense of what this all means.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm taking the day off today to celebrate and spend some quality time with my family.